Dear diary
I hope i will love God more.
Dear God just for tonight. I want to fall in love. I hope that
somebody will fall for me. Mutually fall
for each other. Just for tonight. Just for tonight. Let him remember me and let him count his sins by
remembering me and not You , and then, let him let me go. Let our love fall apart because
of the remembrance of you. But please, one day, Let our soul be one,
let us be one because of you.
After these days that I’ve been having headache thinking about
myself, it will be over in a few more hours. It will not kill my joy with
people, but might totally tarnish my love for a man. Right after writing this stupid confession, I will
make sure, not even a minute will I ever let my guard down just to fall again. Just
for tonight, dear God. Even though I might die tomorrow? I don’t know, but I’m
sure to love you, in a way that I have never thought of before. As for my fate,
and the worrisome jodoh things, this is my vow, to keep my heart pure, to
accept anything that might’ve come to me. Life is a choice, the labyrinth road, where I’m
pretty sure the ending would be least expected than what I’ve expected.
Dear Allah, I’m writing this so that my heart won’t spill
its honesty elsewhere. I want to stop doing this, the love to a man, that
absolutely will stain my heart from remembering you. I am sorry for everything,
for not being a good ‘Abd, for ignoring you for so long. If there’s still a
room for me to repent myself, I’d certainly want to seize the opportunity. Will
you accept me back?
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